Sunday, March 20, 2011

Thank you for being there for me the entire time.

I walked home with my heart was beating at the speed of light because my mind keeps creating scenario of what could happen. Will I smile and say hi, or will I run into his arms and cry? It's been too long since we've been apart but my heart still can't bear to let it go. He surprised me in my room with a gigantic board saying he loves me and a collage of my photos. My mind went blank at that moment, I have no idea how to react. I'm surprised at myself being irritated by it. We took our dinner and then had a stroll along the park connector. We just walked and walked. I refused to let him take my hand even when I felt cold when the breeze came past us. He broke the silence with that question and I said ok. Obviously that wasn't an satisfactory answer but he didn't probe more. We just sat there till he pulled me into his embrace. I broke down and said sorry over and over again. There is only this much my heart could take and I just can't bring myself to do it. Things he do and words he say doesn't match at all. I really wonder if there is really still someone good out there. In the end, all the scenario in my mind did not happen at all. In the end, every single thing and effort was wasted in this entire relationship. I'm just really glad we said what we really wanted to say. It was the best goodbye ever.

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