Together with 14 of my not-so-close CCA mates(which I believe will become close after this trip) to a foregin land with no access to handphone and internet, I am totally not excited.
I have this constant fear I won't make it back alive. I know it's ridiculous, but I know a friend who lost her friend to a school trip this year. (Sorry sw, if you're reading this, pls stop, you are gonna cry.)
It just hit me, what if I don't make it back alive? I cringed just by having the thought of it. So I've sent my friends messages on fb. I know it's insincere, but the things I wna tell them are just too long to be sent over a text, too private to publish it here and no one checks their god damn email because everyone's camping on fb. So I might just tell them there.
I've said what I wanted to. I won't die with regrets. Oh shit, I will! No one's planning my funeral! Okay, Reb, I hope you still read my blog. Hehehehheh. Plan my funeral please? It'll be your first event! Although, it'll be one you'd hate to organise because it's your friend's funeral. :/
But we've talked about this before right? But just in case you forgot, lemme remind you.
I want orange coffin, not those dull ugly ones, but those bright neon ones kay! Like my bedroom's colour. As for my picture, choose the most goofy one because that's how I want to stay in people's heart. I don't want those boring subtly gentle smile ones, and surrounding the photo will be my fav orange sunflowers!
I want my friends to feel comfortable, so the atmosphere musn't be tense like all the ones I've been to. I don't mean they can be happy over my death but at least make them feel like I'm still there. So, play some funky music! No dancefloor please, my parents wouldn't really like it.
To prevent congestion, I hope my friends can access to a website where they can book the time they are coming in advance so there won't be cases of people standing around because there aren't enough chairs around.
This is not a joke, neither a suicide note! I am serious. Accidents always happen when we least expect it. Okay, for the rest of the details that I've missed out, you can let my parents decide what to do.
Seriously, this trip makes me think a lot even before I set off. I hope all will be well and I will come back in one piece.
Lots of love,
The One Who'll Never Be Serious Except For Now.